


Toi Et Nul Autre

by sunlit



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1317139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlit/pseuds/sunlit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo comes to the realisation that the only way he can fall is in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toi Et Nul Autre

the van ride to incheon isn’t by any means silent.

kyungsoo had packed light (and to the best of his ability, made sure baekhyun had, too), but they’d somehow still ended up with two large suitcases in the back of the van. one and a half for baekhyun, half for him, rattling softly every time the van hit a bump in the road or came to a halt at an intersection. kyungsoo would’ve refused baekhyun half of his suitcase, in all honesty, but he hadn’t had the heart to do it when baekhyun was packing under the warm glow of the lamp in their room, exceedingly beautiful even when baekhyun had exclaimed, “my clothes and i are one!” complete with the theatrics.

baekhyun is curled up next to kyungsoo, thighs resting against his, cellphone like a beacon of light in the darkness of the van. _on d way 2 icn_ , baekhyun’s message to the group kakaotalk chat reads. he follows it up with _fall not into despair in our absence, men!_ , then, _loljk c u gais in a week xoxo heart u all :3_.

it's nearing three in the morning, so kyungsoo doesn't expect any replies, at least not so soon, but baekhyun's phone notifications go off several times within the next few seconds. the beeps are adorable. baekhyun imitating them under his breath, though, is even cuter. “minseok-hyung tells us to be careful,” baekhyun says, reading out the contents of the replies out loud even though he knows kyungsoo can read them just fine. “and of course,” he snorts disdainfully, “jongdae says to never come back.”

kyungsoo laughs. it’s so characteristically jongdae, kyungsoo can almost hear him saying it. “yeah?” kyungsoo tilts his head, inhaling the scent of baekhyun’s shampoo - it’s not strong, a flowery, sweet scent that’s easy on the senses, but it’s heady. kyungsoo likes it. “tell him okay, we’re eloping,” he murmurs into the crown of baekhyun’s head.

jongin and luhan reply with japanese emojis; the kind that has teddy bears rolling their eyes or kittens making kissy faces. jongdae's reply is much more succinct: _abt time u guys_. baekhyun bursts into soft laughter when the message comes in, but it turns into a squirmish giggle when kyungsoo's arms find their way around his waist.

just the thought of this escapade, this adventure, their trip together away from cameras and stages and expectations is enough to make kyungsoo feel giddy, and the way baekhyun’s body trembles with mirth next to him is certainly not helping matters.

their manager pays them no heed, maintaining a hushed phone conversation while maneuvering the busy streets. the bridge is a stunning picture of twinkling gold and red even at this early hour, a brushstroke against the serene skyline of seoul in the distance. in the background, _come away with me_ is playing on the radio. kyungsoo hasn’t listened to norah jones in a good, long while. the soft beat of the song is strangely in tandem with the pulse of the city as they pass it by.

the sounds are a beautiful, oddly calming cacophony, the city singing to the tune of familiarity and all kyungsoo has seen and heard since he first moved from gyeonggi-do to seoul as a wide-eyed trainee with the world ahead of him. lovely though it may be, they all fade into nothing but a backing track when baekhyun sings into the skin above the collar of kyungsoo’s round-necked tee. stilted english, barely audible, rough, vibrato seemingly travelling into kyungsoo’s being and flowing into his veins.

kyungsoo would never say this to baekhyun, but he likes baekhyun’s singing, a lot. never more, though, than when baekhyun sings like this - bold enough to be true to himself, but soft enough to be reserved only for kyungsoo.

_come away with me and we’ll kiss on a mountaintop, come away with me and i’ll never stop loving you._

◇

incheon had been relatively quiet - just a few girls who’d recognised them over breakfast and asked for a quick autograph, to which baekhyun and kyungsoo had obliged. five years and four full-length albums into their career, the masses’ response to exo seems to have waned, if only slightly. kyungsoo can’t say he minds, not when there aren’t as many cameras and screaming girls around to drown out baekhyun’s occasional humming or his offhand comments.

(“has anyone ever told you that when you stare into space, you’re not really staring into space?” baekhyun chirps casually as they wait in line at immigration. for a confusing sentence like that, his tone is surprisingly light.

kyungsoo scrunches his nose. “what?”

“nothing, just... you’re actually thinking really hard about a lot of things at a go when you stare into space. people think you’re tuning out but you’re not.” baekhyun punctuates his sentence with a shrug, like it’s a common observation to make.

 _why would you even notice that_ and _are you looking at me_ and _don’t say things like that, it makes me confused_ all overlap in his brain at the same time. the unrelated response kyungsoo comes up with is, “how do you know i’m even thinking of anything?”

the ghost of a smile lingers on baekhyun’s lips. “the kyungsoo i know doesn’t ever not think about things.”

“don’t stare at my face, it’s weird,” kyungsoo mumbles, nudging baekhyun forward with his arm. the thought of baekhyun knowing kyungsoo, inside and out, effortlessly reaching into the deep recesses of who he is and dissecting his habits and his thoughts and his _feelings_ , is frightening.

baekhyun doesn’t need to know how much kyungsoo thinks about him.)

charles de gaulle, though, is a flurry of activity when they touch down just shy of twelve in the afternoon. from the jetway, kyungsoo can see that it’s a fine day - not gloomy, yet not overly sunny. nothing he hasn’t seen before; the weather had been just like this the past three times exo had paid paris a visit for the smtown family concerts.

kyungsoo feels like he’s been welcomed by an old friend, one he hasn’t seen in a long while. but when baekhyun collides into kyungsoo and clings onto his arm like a child on too much sugar, when baekhyun pretends to skate out the doors with their luggage trolley as his sled, when - instead of being shepherded through a side exit and into a waiting vehicle - baekhyun takes a deep whiff of parisian air, beams at kyungsoo and yells, “this is awesome!” with his hands in the air the moment they get outside, kyungsoo realises this friend might not be the same one he used to know.

they’ve both changed. paris is a little bit brighter, a little bit more colourful, the same way kyungsoo is a little bit more in love with baekhyun.

it doesn’t take them long to hail a cab, although kyungsoo does take a good long while trying to pronounce the name of their hotel right. baekhyun’s gaze rests briefly on the scenery outside before he drags it back up to kyungsoo’s face, fingers drumming against his thigh in a steady rhythm. kyungsoo’s shoulder brushes lightly against baekhyun’s as he leans back in his seat.

“this kinda feels like a honeymoon,” baekhyun remarks, grinning mischievously.

laughter comes almost all too easy for kyungsoo when he’s around baekhyun. “woah, hold up there, byun. we’re not married yet.”

bachelor life sounds very unappealing to kyungsoo all of a sudden, and as if on cue, baekhyun reaches out to twine their fingers together, directing his gaze out the window again. _yet._ kyungsoo squeezes baekhyun’s hand and doesn’t pull away.

◇

it only dawns on kyungsoo how long it’s been since he last heard ‘my lady’ when baekhyun hums the chorus as he trudges past the threshold of their hotel room, swinging the key card by its ring and dragging his suitcase behind him. the bedsheets are a soft cream, the carpet a faded maroon easy on the eyes. a set of glass doors open up to a wide balcony with a hanging lamp and a table for two. (perfect.)

“the bed closest to the doors is mine~” baekhyun sing-songs, suitcase colliding with the foot of the bed with a loud ‘thud’. he flops onto it, sandy gold hair fanning out behind him, beaming so brightly, he looks a solid ten years younger than he actually is.

kyungsoo parks his own suitcase next to baekhyun’s and frowns down at him. “we talked about this on the plane, baek, i wanted this bed,” he says, furrowing his brows.

“mm,” baekhyun’s nimble fingers wrap around kyungsoo’s wrist and tug him forward. kyungsoo steadies himself with his hands on baekhyun’s shoulders, and chides himself for letting this happen - letting baekhyun sweep him off his feet (literally), letting baekhyun steal his heart - every time. “i know,” baekhyun says. he taps his chin with his fingers, pulling a face, as if considering the next big move in a game of chess. “now _what_ a problem: you and i both want the same bed. i wonder how we can solve that...”

kyungsoo rolls his eyes when baekhyun trails off deliberately. “what? share the bed?”

baekhyun smiles impishly and snakes both arms around kyungsoo’s neck. “i was gonna say decide with rock-paper-scissors, but i wouldn’t object to that at all.”

“you planned this all along, didn’t you,” kyungsoo sighs almost resignedly, not even bothering to phrase his question like one because he already knows the answer. when baekhyun laughs softly, presses a kiss to the tip of his nose, he fervently attempts to ignore the smile threatening to break out on his face. why is it so difficult for the corners of his mouth to respond properly to gravity whenever he’s around baekhyun? down instead of up; it’s not even _that_ hard.

“no planning needed; you’re too easy.”

baekhyun’s teasing smile sends a wave of heat through kyungsoo’s cheeks, and he realises only too late how close they are. “i really don’t like you.”

“mm,” baekhyun says again, smiling when their lips meet. “love you too.”

◇

they decide to start backwards along avenue des champs-élysées, from arc de triomphe and down the street leading from it. when they arrive, though, standing under the full height of the arc, kyungsoo can’t be sure if they’ve stepped into one of france’s pivotal tourist spots, or a painting hung somewhere in a museum.

the slightest tinge of blue has started to seep into the purple of the sky, pink and orange at the edges because of the city lights. glowing gold in the evening, the arc looms high above them, embossed sculptures casting dancing shadows along its wall. colours and sights unimaginable assail kyungsoo’s senses, too vibrant to be real, the imagery he’s only ever conjured from reading or gleaned from pictures on the internet.

baekhyun’s soft gasp echoes his sentiments. “it’s... soo, this is stunning,” baekhyun whispers, the back of his hand grazing against kyungsoo’s as he moves closer to him. kyungsoo hears baekhyun’s deep inhale over the pounding of his heart, tears his gaze away from the water of the fountains, gleaming silver. “it’s almost like a dream,” baekhyun continues, slightly louder this time, but voice still laced with awe.

kyungsoo shifts his palm and takes baekhyun’s hand in his to remind himself that they’re here, together. he doesn’t want this to be a dream. “this is real,” he says, “ _we’re_ real.” _we’re here, and i’m going to remember everything, and somehow try to pay attention to everything else over the sound of your voice and the light in your face._

baekhyun turns to look at kyungsoo, something like surprise dashing in and out of his eyes. “yeah.” a grin breaks out on his face, bright enough to rival that of paris’ lights behind him. “yeah, we are.”

baekhyun is always pulling, tugging at the corners of kyungsoo’s lips, his hand, his heartstrings, and kyungsoo is more than happy to let him, so he ends up being led away from the arc, down the avenue. kyungsoo lets baekhyun take the lead as they pad softly along the cobblestone streets, marvelling at everything, from the soft hum of parked cabs to the golden strings of light woven between the trees.

he hasn’t laughed like this - in the open - in ages. baekhyun points out the most random things of interest, like postboxes and pigeons, and croons along to the street buskers and their cheesy love songs. passers-by smile amusedly at them, but nobody complains because baekhyun’s extremely good at what he does, and he’s still singing when he sits kyungsoo down at an al fresco cafe for an early dinner.

“lovin’ you is easy because you’re beautiful, makin’ love with you is all i wanna do,” baekhyun sings in time with a blond teenager with a guitar, busking nearby. he winks playfully, and kyungsoo shoves his face away, cheeks burning and pulse jumping erratically, like a schoolgirl being serenaded by her first crush— definitely too much manhwa.

baekhyun laughs and stands up just as a waitress brings their menus over. “stay here and order for us,” he says, and brandishes his camera when kyungsoo asks him where he’s going. “i wanna take a photo of the kiosks we saw earlier outside the main row of shops.”

kyungsoo nods and slumps back in his seat, nose in his menu and peeking over the edge to see baekhyun’s retreating back. he bites his lips, willing the flush in his face to die down, the following lines of the song replaying in his mind like a marquee. he knows the lyrics like the back of his hand; this was one of the songs that reminded him most of baekhyun, one he’d listened to on many sleepless nights before his trainwreck of a confession, before they began to constantly disregard their bandmates-only distance. (not that they did that very well before, honestly, but kyungsoo lets that slide.)

“lovin’ you is more than just a dream come true, and everything i do, i do out of love for you,” kyungsoo whisper-sings to himself, determined not to let anyone else hear him, smiling helplessly into the laminated pages of the menu.

◇

kyungsoo definitely wouldn't have pegged the eiffel tower as small, but neither had it ever registered as really big. he's only ever seen it from afar, and the closest he's been to it is on a road some distance away, on a bus ride during exo's second trip to paris. standing at the ticketing centre at the very foot of the tower, though, he realises the bus ride hasn’t done it even the slightest ounce of justice. calling it gigantic would be an understatement in itself. the detail is mesmerising, down to the angles, and kyungsoo can’t help but try to touch the metal at the base of the tower.

baekhyun teases kyungsoo about how his eyes are even wider than they usually are, warrants himself a hard punch on the arm.

when they step out onto the observatory deck, kyungsoo huffs in frustration and brushes off baekhyun’s hand, but baekhyun lunges forward to cling to him again, and this is different. baekhyun’s fingers curl into the fabric of kyungsoo’s sweatshirt, like he needs it, and it throws kyungsoo off-guard enough to look back at him. “don’t—” _don’t make resisting you difficult_ , he wants to say, but baekhyun’s lips are quivering, and his eyes aren’t meeting kyungsoo’s.

"don’t," baekhyun says, pleads, just like he does. kyungsoo hates how his heart skips a beat over something so miniscule. “don’t go.” _what are you, five?_ is on the tip of kyungsoo’s tongue, but then the memory hits him like a tidal wave, and he remembers baekhyun is afraid of heights.

almost instantly, kyungsoo finds himself caressing the arm he’d hit only minutes ago, and baekhyun lets out a shaky sigh, leaning into the touch. “you’re ridiculous,” kyungsoo mumbles, but there’s no malice in his voice, not even the slightest edge. baekhyun smiles fondly when kyungsoo rests his hand atop baekhyun’s, keeping a tight grip on him.

they go as close to the edge as baekhyun would dare. when baekhyun tells him to look, look at the hustle and bustle of paris sprawled out beneath them like a silent movie, kyungsoo’s gaze can’t help but flicker towards baekhyun’s face. his eyes are soft, a small smile teasing the edges of his lips. kyungsoo bites the inside of his cheek and squeezes baekhyun’s hand, just a little, enough to say _don’t worry, i won’t let you fall_.

baekhyun’s answering laugh is breathy. maybe it’s because the air is too thin this high above the ground, or maybe it’s because he can feel the tingling beneath their interlocked fingers as well. kyungsoo doesn’t dwell on it, but he thinks he might know the answer.

◇

from the jetty, kyungsoo can see arc de triomphe and the eiffel tower, blades of gold against a gray backdrop. it’s not too bad, he decides; the gray isn’t the dreary kind, and the day is still well-lit. it’s comfortable enough; the warm colours from the lamps and buildings lend a homely glow to their surroundings, so kyungsoo can’t say he minds.

baekhyun drops kyungsoo’s hand to fix his shoelaces, and immediately threads their fingers together again after he’s done. even after six years of knowing baekhyun and five of being helplessly in love with him (and denying it repeatedly to anyone who asks), kyungsoo still can’t stop the slight hitch in his breathing when baekhyun does that. baekhyun’s held his hand so much in paris that kyungsoo feels a profound sense of loss when he doesn’t, and he has no idea how he’s going to handle being back in korea. where no one is supposed to know.

“the boats are here!” baekhyun exclaims, pulling kyungsoo up, completely oblivious to his train of thought. baekhyun breaks out into an excited jog and kyungsoo lets him take the lead, running far ahead of all the other tourists still busy snapping pictures of the seine river and palais bourbon in the distance.

baekhyun steers kyungsoo away from the entrance, up the stairs to the upper deck. they find a spot in the front corner just as the boat begins to move. kyungsoo looks around: very few people have joined them outside. other than a middle-aged couple and a young family of four, they have the entire deck to themselves, and kyungsoo basks in the sound of the hull parting the water of the river, leans his head back and lets the ambience overtake him for a while.

from pont de la concorde, kyungsoo can see the louvre. they’d been there yesterday, while it drizzled. he fights the upward pull on his lips thinking about their trip to the museum. kyungsoo had, in all honesty, only expected to spend a long time at the mona lisa and a few other famous pieces, but he’d ended up paying equal attention to everything. each work of art was spellbinding in its own way.

he’d been in the midst of admiring a raphael painting when baekhyun had crept up behind him, so close that kyungsoo could feel the ghost-like touch of baekhyun’s lips on his ear, the hot puff of breath that floated across his skin, the curve of baekhyun’s grin. “hey soo, draw me like one of your french girls.” baekhyun had laughed all the way through kyungsoo’s ensuing choking fit, crescent-shaped eyes twinkling merrily, withholding the bottle of water in his knapsack.

the movie references carried on to the notre dame cathedral today, when baekhyun had proudly claimed, “i’ve decided i’ll be the captain phoebus to your esmeralda!” the moment they got to the doors.

kyungsoo rolled his eyes and snapped a picture of baekhyun holding up a peace sign by the entrance. “why do i have to be esmeralda? that should be you,” he countered matter-of-factly. “do i look like a gypsy princess to you?” baekhyun had only snickered and sauntered away ahead of him. truth be told, though, if it meant being together the way the characters did in the film, kyungsoo couldn’t really say he minded. in the end, he lost the fight against his urge to smile.

suddenly, baekhyun’s fingers are in his hair, playfully ruffling it. the river air is startlingly cool against kyungsoo’s cheeks. “you’re on a parisian _cruise_ , kyungsoo, take in the sights!” baekhyun says breezily, clicking his tongue in mock chastise. kyungsoo dips his head a little, maybe by instinct. years of being under the eye of the camera has taught him that if ever in doubt, buy yourself a few seconds by looking downwards. it’s less noticeable than looking anywhere else.

it could be natural intuition, or it could be that baekhyun has a complex understanding of kyungsoo’s psychological mechanisms. but everything kyungsoo doesn’t want him to notice, he does, and kyungsoo is painfully slow in thinking up new tricks to outsmart him. baekhyun would look at kyungsoo would those doe-like eyes, searching him for the briefest of moments, as if to say _come here, give me the lock to your secrets and let me throw away the key_ and he’d forget every little cover-up he’d planned to use.

this is why baekhyun is different, and precisely why kyungsoo feels so unhinged around him.

“what are you thinking about?” baekhyun’s whisper is gentle, prying slowly, but he’s still hanging back just in case. the wide grin he'd been wearing has fallen off his face. he’s taken to softly stroking kyungsoo’s hair.

kyungsoo keeps his silence for a while. he ends up telling the truth. “you.” _you’re always in my head._

on some days, baekhyun would laugh and alternate between variations of “i know i'm irresistible”. on other days, baekhyun would lean into him and hope that the contact conveys everything he wants to say.

on days like today, though, baekhyun smiles, painful in its gentility, and asks him a question. “do you trust me?” _you have my heart, you have all of me, idiot, of course i trust you_ all roll into a ball that lodges itself in his throat, so all kyungsoo does and can do is nod.

baekhyun moves to stand behind him and gently nudges kyungsoo forward, until he’s pressed against the railing. “spread your arms,” he whispers, lips grazing against the lobe of kyungsoo’s ear, slipping his fingers between kyungsoo’s. it’s the perfect fit.

kyungsoo chuckles when he realises which movie baekhyun’s taken this from and folds both their hands around the cool metal of the railing. “i know what this is,” he murmurs, loud enough for only the two of them to hear, twisting around a little bit to look at baekhyun.

baekhyun chuckles. “your line is ‘look, i’m flying!’, by the way.”

“well, you missed the part where i was supposed to close my eyes,” kyungsoo retorts.

baekhyun's eyes flicker upwards; they're nearing a bridge. the moment the boat slides into the shadow of pont du carrousel overhead, he leans forward to catch kyungsoo's lips in his. kyungsoo stumbles backwards into the cocoon of their arms, tightens his fingers around baekhyun's by reflex. his eyes flutter shut involuntarily. both their pulses are throbbing fiercely beneath his skin; even after all this time, it's exhilarating to know he can make baekhyun's heart race like this. two can play this game, but when baekhyun coaxes kyungsoo's lips apart and meets his gasp with a smile, kyungsoo knows he's teetering towards the losing end of this spectrum.

when they return to the light and the public eye, they part, and kyungsoo has to breathe in deep. “there,” baekhyun grins at him. “you closed your eyes.”

kyungsoo isn’t sure if this is what flying really feels like. it feels more like he’s falling, much too hard and much too fast.

◇

even in the height of day, the seine is startlingly beautiful, sunlight glimmering off its calm waters and lapping against the banks. baekhyun had insisted they revisit the river at least once before they leave, to drink in the atmosphere at their own pace instead of only looking at the boardwalk from afar atop the river cruise.

the change of scenery along the seine is intriguing; a grassy slope bordering the main road transitions to a solitary quaint cafe, tarred roads to cobblestone flooring. summer has only just begun in paris, but the specially raised wooden platforms along the riverbank - tanning spots - are already milling with people looking to kick back on a warm day out. 

kyungsoo is in a simple tee and jeans, still wet from when they'd passed a particular section of the bank that extends out to the river itself. "you okay?" kyungsoo asked worriedly when baekhyun bent down for no reason in particular as they trudged over the artificial beach.

"no, but..." baekhyun mumbled weakly, eyes obscured by his bright golden bangs. kyungsoo caught his staggering figure by the shoulders, bent down to get a better look at him— "i am now!" baekhyun's voice picked up volume just as abruptly as a cold, wet feeling seeped through the fabric of kyungsoo's shirt.

kyungsoo lasted a meagre fifteen minutes of giving baekhyun the cold shoulder for attempting to slosh river water down the front of his shirt, putting up with insistent repetitions of "aw, i'm sorry!" and "you should've seen your face though!".

he gives in when baekhyun's apologies reduce to soft whining, when baekhyun wraps cold fingers around his wrist and tugs helplessly. "look at me," he implores, bottom lip jutting out slightly, just enough for kyungsoo to have to expend his energy trying to restrain himself from kissing the pout right off baekhyun's rosy lips.

out of the corner of his eye, kyungsoo can see baekhyun lingering at the edge of his field of vision, despite the fact that he hasn't stopped walking. it's distinctly baekhyun - always finding ways to catch up to kyungsoo no matter how fast he tries to run. baekhyun is like fire. exciting, passionate, burning his mark onto everyone he meets. baekhyun is difficult to disregard, and even more difficult to forget, kyungsoo realises, when he's reminded of their late nights at the studio sometimes. baekhyun would tell kyungsoo that he wants to sing the song again from the top, despite the sleep crusting his eyes and the exhaustion in his voice. no matter how tired he was, kyungsoo would stay the extra hour to keep baekhyun company, to be the other half of baekhyun's duet, to let baekhyun fall asleep on his shoulder because it's ass o'clock in the morning and he'd be too tired to go back to the dorms.

kyungsoo can never run away. he'd always thought it was one of baekhyun's many aftereffects. now, though, when baekhyun chirps "i'll make it up to you!" in a cheerful tone, kyungsoo wonders if it's simply because he'd wanted to stay all along.

they find a small table for two outside a cafe just before one of the bridges, where baekhyun orders a large iced coffee and sends the young waitress off with a smile that somehow sets his features aglow. "you could've just ordered regular coffees for us both. never really pegged you as the frugal type," kyungsoo observes after a few minutes of people-watching in silence. sure, the food in paris is slightly pricey compared to seoul's, but it doesn't burn holes in his pocket.

laughter bubbles forth from baekhyun's lips when he leans forward, eyes and teeth glinting. the tiny table makes every inch baekhyun scoots closer seem like a foot, and suddenly kyungsoo's all too aware of baekhyun tangling their legs together under the table, fingers but a short, controlled distance away from his own. the upward quirk of baekhyun's mouth is enticing.

just then, the same waitress returns with a glass of iced coffee topped with pristine whipped cream and two straws. she wishes them a good day and is on her way back through the cafe doors. baekhyun slips both straws into the glass and pushes the tip of one into kyungsoo's mouth, fingers resting on his skin a fraction of a second longer than they should. leaning in to take a sip, baekhyun answers slyly, "well, i ordered one so i'd have an excuse for us to share."

his hand returns to its original position, the smallest of touches between their fingertips electric. their lips are but a few inches apart, a decision away. close, too close, kyungsoo decides.

◇

only after two wrong turns and a detour to pont neuf does baekhyun finally stop brisk walking, breathless but bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. kyungsoo looks around; they're on one of the bridges cutting across the seine. two rows of simplistic but elegant wooden benches are spaced at intervals along the middle. the bridge is wide enough to accommodate large groups of people, even gatherings, by kyungsoo's reckoning, but today, the crowd is relatively sparse. just a few joggers, a businessman or two, fellow tourists.

"why were you so intent on coming here?" kyungsoo asks, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised for good measure. the structure of the bridge is definitely different from the others - as are all the bridges along the seine, unique details that set them apart - but kyungsoo can't see why it warrants baekhyun's persistent pleas to visit. 

baekhyun blinks a few times, rapidly, mouth parted in a small 'o', as if kyungsoo had just asked him to help solve a first-grade math question. "you can't see it yet?" a tinge of amusement runs along the edge of his words, stops at the corner of the slow-blooming grin on his lips.

when kyungsoo only stares pointedly at him and declines to answer, baekhyun leads him forward, their sneakers thudding softly against the wood in time with each other as they make their way to the handrail. perhaps it was a view of something along the bank? or maybe baekhyun had developed a taste for the victorian-esque lampposts that glowed warmly in the early evening. kyungsoo squints; the railings look oddly populated, somehow, by a colony of unmoving things, almost like—

"are those _locks_?" kyungsoo gapes disbelievingly.

baekhyun smiles then, a full-blown, brilliant smile that could've been the earth's second sun. "pont des arts," he pronounces the name of the bridge in practiced french, "the bridge version of namsan tower, i guess."

true enough, much like namsan tower back home, clusters of locks are attached to the railings all along both sides of the bridge. some of them are classic brass locks, others in bright and bold colours. kyungsoo reaches out to run his fingers along the cool metal. baekhyun stands idly next to him, drumming his fingers along the handrail, gaze soft and wandering along the currents of the river beneath them. "remember we had our own locks at home?"

it was an impromptu trip to namsan tower in late autumn. luhan, jongdae and chanyeol were trying to beat each other to the hotdog stand. they had maybe five minutes before junmyeon and kris would come rounding them up. kyungsoo tried to pick out the golden brown leaves in baekhyun's windswept hair, but baekhyun stopped him by circling cool fingers around his wrist.

"do you believe in forever?" the question was a heavy one, but it sounded airy, almost light when asked in baekhyun's lilting tone. his eyes glinted with all the recklessness and confidence of a young demigod newly come of age, someone who'd take the world in his stride as he went. kyungsoo didn't have it in him to say no, so he nodded.

baekhyun grinned, producing a lock with the words 'forever' engraved on it from his pocket. they wrote their initials on the back, simply because they couldn't run the risk of using their real names.

kyungsoo remembers everything in remarkable vividness, from the colour of the lock to the place they'd fastened it to baekhyun insisting he write his initial on the left just because he wanted to. he remembers the feeling of his heart almost bursting when baekhyun twined their fingers together and smiled like he wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

warmth seeps into kyungsoo's skin when baekhyun absentmindedly traces the veins on the back of his hand. they're close now, so close their shoulders bump, and kyungsoo can hear the scuffle of baekhyun's sneakers. "i remember." _how could i forget?_

they wait in silence for one of the river cruise ships to pass under the bridge. "i wanted us to have one here too. with our real names," baekhyun says slowly, worrying his bottom lip. hesitation isn't something baekhyun displays to the world. even in front of the members, baekhyun only shows it in measured amounts.

but sometimes, when he crawls into kyungsoo's bed because he can't sleep, or when kyungsoo kisses him feverishly like their tomorrows are limited, or when it's just the two of them wrapping up a late-night recording session, kyungsoo can see that it's there, lurking behind his sunny disposition and easy words. it's oddly comforting for kyungsoo to know that baekhyun trusts him enough to show him this piece of himself, a quaver of insecurity buried by the minims and crotchets of his confidence.

"i got us a lock, y'know, when you went to the restroom." baekhyun laughs sheepishly, opening the palm of his free hand to reveal a medium-sized lock, dimmed gold against his pale skin. just as kyungsoo reaches out to touch it, though, baekhyun curls his fingers around it, blocking it from view.

kyungsoo becomes acutely aware of baekhyun's warm, measured breaths fanning across his face, lips open just slightly, eyes half-closed and clouded over. he knows where this is going. "no," baekhyun says, all of a sudden, hands locked behind kyungsoo's neck and resting gently against his nape. "don't run away."

"people will see," kyungsoo whispers, more of a formality than actual defence, because he can feel his body giving way as it is.

he pulls lightly at the hem of baekhyun's denim jacket. forward, forward - that's the only way they've ever operated. "let them," is baekhyun's murmured reply, lips grazing kyungsoo's with every word he speaks. "you kissed me under a bridge yesterday. now kiss me on one." 

when kyungsoo stares baekhyun in the eye, he sees his old rival, his best friend, his one and only love. but more than anything, he sees byun baekhyun, the haphazard collage of good and bad that kyungsoo's somehow ended up falling for. baekhyun is the kind of person who bounds onto the ice and only worries about it cracking after the fissures have begun to appear.

baekhyun is afraid of a lot of things, but he's never afraid of taking chances.

"just on this bridge?" kyungsoo's question is met with baekhyun's melodious laughter. it's still as beautiful as when kyungsoo first heard it all those years ago.

"we could try all thirty seven of them," baekhyun quips.

kyungsoo has to refrain from smiling too brightly into the kiss. baekhyun tastes like waffles, love and home.

◇

from their balcony on the first floor of the guesthouse, the hustle and bustle of paris is strangely muted, as if the soft glow of the lamplight has cast a semi-veil over the enclave. kyungsoo leans against the railing, admiring the well-maintained potted flora arranged all over the balcony, at least a dozen different types of flowering plants. the warm splashes of colour lend a good balance to the otherwise earthy palette of the balcony.

kyungsoo's just moved on from a daisy plant to an ixora bush when the door creaks twice, open, close. he turns to relieve baekhyun of a steaming mug of coffee, blows before taking a sip. "you remembered," he notes out loud, licking the roof of his mouth and savouring the aftertaste of the caffeine.

"just because i don't make it much at home doesn't mean i'd forget how you like your coffee. i'm not even thirty yet," baekhyun scoffs, fixing the hem of his cardigan and hiding his growing smile behind the rim of his own mug. kyungsoo takes another sip of his coffee, hoping the scalding liquid racing down his throat will be enough to suppress the burning urge to kiss baekhyun's smile right off his face.

baekhyun sets his mug down on the railing, index finger running back and forth along one edge of the rim, and observes the quaint street below them. it's not too busy; the occasional car, a couple on a tandem bike, an old man walking his german shepherd. quiet chatter from the cafe downstairs bubbles up to meet them.

"i can't believe we're going home tomorrow," baekhyun says so softly that kyungsoo nearly misses it. "time really does fly when you're having fun."

the coffee mug looks so precarious on the railing that kyungsoo takes it upon himself to move both their cups to the small table behind them. "time flies for us every day, baekhyun. we wake up and work and before we know it, we're sleeping like logs on our beds." strung together in a sentence, their prolific careers sound rather down on the flipside, but this is how the past five years of their lives have passed them by, save their occasional vacations and rest days.

kyungsoo moves to stand next to baekhyun, hears him inhale sharply. "that's why this trip is all the more important," is his cryptic reply after a moment's silence. before kyungsoo can ask what he means, baekhyun tilts his head to look up at the sky, eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins. "the stars are really bright tonight."

a full, pristine moon shines down on them, glowing golden white. kyungsoo can see the occasional speck of silver in the night sky if he squints, but a lot of them have been drowned out by paris' own lights. it's strangely reminiscent of seoul, where stargazing from the city is irrationally difficult even on the clearest of nights. "you can't really see them," kyungsoo says pointedly.

"really?" baekhyun asks, as if genuinely surprised. "there's one shining really brightly though."

"don't pull my leg, baekhyun," kyungsoo warns. he's not exactly a bright-eyed teen with 20/20 vision anymore, but he's pretty sure he can spot a star when required.

baekhyun denies his accusation adamantly, and lifts a hand. "see? it's right..." he searches the sky for a bit, then lowers his index finger, and for a moment, kyungsoo wonders if the star is dangerously close to the horizon. baekhyun rests the pad of his finger against kyungsoo's chest, right above his heart. "here."

the smile pulling the corners of baekhyun's lips upward is so warm that kyungsoo's almost entirely convinced the warmth is seeping through the air and into his face. heat travels via convection, after all. "you're so embarrassing, go away," kyungsoo manages to mumble, half-heartedly shoving at baekhyun's shoulder.

baekhyun's answering laughter, bright and carefree, slides down his back and into his skin. it's rough and nasally, but it's right up there with kyungsoo's favourite sounds in the whole wide world, next to the trickling of small streams and baekhyun's singing and speaking voices. baekhyun isn't too far off from his 'element' of light; he reminds kyungsoo very much of the sun, searing his own mark onto everything and everyone he encounters, clinging to you like a good, sun-kissed tan. kyungsoo's always preferred warm weather to the cold, and granted, he has his occasional complaints about the sun being too overbearing, but going a day without it wouldn't work either.

kyungsoo is vaguely aware of baekhyun's hand slipping into his. "i mean it. you're the brightest star i've ever seen," baekhyun says, so genuinely that kyungsoo feels his heart constricting in his chest. a momentary pause for baekhyun to muster the right words, to flash what looks to be a nervous smile at him - this takes kyungsoo by surprise, because baekhyun's never had to worry about words. it was one department he was prodigiously good at.

"i'm the stargazer. i need to see you everyday. you remind me that the world hasn't gone completely awry. you remind me that i'm home and i'm okay anywhere, as long as i'm with you. you are," baekhyun looks kyungsoo in the eye, free hand reaching out to cup his cheek, "the most beautiful person in the world to me."

something that sounds like a cross between a whimper and a gurgle spills out of kyungsoo's lips. he feels himself clinging especially hard to the railing for fear of falling, falling even deeper in love. "baekhyun, _stop_ —"

baekhyun cuts him off with a light peck, eyes twinkling and canines gleaming. "but there's this problem," he continues. "if we were the star and stargazer, we wouldn't be able to touch each other, right? we'd just be looking at each other, or spending time with each other. the stargazer thinks about what he should do to remedy this, and he's thought a lot."

"what're you—" kyungsoo's eyes widen and his words end in a choked stutter when baekhyun pulls away slightly, sinking down to one knee. every move he makes is painfully slow, even the smile blooming on his face.

"the stargazer wants to ask the star if he'll come down now. if he'd be willing to give up being my star and being mine instead." baekhyun's voice dips into a decrescendo with the last few words, gentle but lined with the hardened edge of determination. kyungsoo finds himself rooted to the spot, numb all over; the only parts of him that haven't frozen up completely are his pounding heart and his eyes, following baekhyun's fingers as they produce a solid, small silver ring from the pocket of his cardigan.

"if he'd be willing to let me love him for the rest of his life," baekhyun finishes.

a mile a minute? a mile a second? how fast, kyungsoo wonders, can a heart beat before it finally overheats and short-circuits and explodes? how much can be a person want to be with someone else? is there a limit to loving somebody? the questions run through his mind and collide headfirst with the flurry of emotions in him, sending all his attempts at being the least bit eloquent out the window.

"fuck you, byun baekhyun," he all but whimpers, pulling baekhyun back on his feet and kissing him square on the lips, fingers curling into baekhyun's nape and in his hair. "yes," kyungsoo whispers, the most helpless of grins creeping up his face, "yes, _yes_ , did you really have to ask, i'm— oh fuck you, yes, i'll be yours as long as you want me to be."

kyungsoo is never sure how many levels of bright and brilliant baekhyun can be, but he outdoes himself when he smiles and ruffles kyungsoo's hair, mirth in his eyes and on the tips of his fingers and at the meeting of their lips, surging through them both like high-powered electric charges. "then you better not have problems with being stuck with me forever," is baekhyun's murmured reply, muffled by the press of kyungsoo's lips against his.

"when did you get the rings?" kyungsoo asks, resting his forehead against baekhyun's.

baekhyun laughs breathlessly. "remember our first night here? when i told you to sit tight while i went to take photos of something? yeah. i passed the kiosk while we were walking but i didn't point it out to you," he admits sheepishly, and ends up nursing a hard punch to the arm. " _ow_? and i just proposed to you too." baekhyun pouts for good measure.

kyungsoo chews on his bottom lip to prevent himself from lunging forward and burying his face in the crook of baekhyun's neck. love is difficult to keep at bay. "i love it," he says, after a deep breath. "i love your dumb analogy and your proposal and your rings. i love _you_."

baekhyun grins. "glad to hear it."

when he lifts the ring between them both, kyungsoo takes a good look at it for the first time. small and unadorned, but nonetheless, a pristine band of what could be sterling or aluminium. there is fine print on the inside of the ring. seeing kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow in concentration trying to read it, baekhyun asks, "do you know what it says?"

"amour de ma vie," kyungsoo manages to decipher with some difficulty, not even bothering to perfect his pronunciation.

the chill of cool metal registers on kyungsoo's skin when baekhyun slips the ring onto his left ring finger, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles, smile reaching his eyes.

"love of my life."

 

( _yes_ , kyungsoo decides, when he wakes up the next morning to the sight of baekhyun's face mere inches away from his, eyes hazy with the aftereffects of sex. "good morning, love," baekhyun drawls, a lazy smile plastered on his face. kyungsoo returns the greeting with a kiss, slipping his fingers through the messy strands of baekhyun's golden hair, the ring on his finger glinting under the sunlight streaming in through the window.

 _yes_ , kyungsoo tells himself again, when baekhyun grins at him as they brush their teeth, straightening out the rumpled hem of his shirt, when baekhyun ends up ransacking the whole room for the cardigan he'd accidentally chucked in his backpack, when baekhyun puts his music player on loudspeaker and sings along to maroon 5.

yes, forever with baekhyun would be very nice indeed.)

 

 

 **epilogue:**  
"i'm just gonna lie down here and never get up again. ever," baekhyun says, collapsing onto his bed and splaying his arms out on both sides for added emphasis.

jongin rolls his eyes and says that's fine, less men, more share, after all, and that baekhyun not getting out of bed tonight would mean one less person to wrestle with over the shower. baekhyun chucks a pillow at him in response, but it falls short and ends up at the foot of their dresser instead. ten hours of non-stop dance practice is never good for the muscles, particularly right after he'd come home from a very fruitful vacation, and baekhyun knows he'll end up feeling the lethargy through another ten hours of non-stop _vocal_ practice tomorrow.

"and we all thought this got easier with age," jongin sighs, tucking a set of fresh clothes under his arm. baekhyun waits for the familiar opening and closing of the bedroom door, but it never comes. instead, he hears the rustling of paper and the shuffling of feet.

"hyung," jongin calls out. "you have... a letter." he pronounces the word 'letter' with caution, lifting the envelope up from the dresser top and regarding it with curiosity.

baekhyun snorts - letters don't get delivered to their personal rooms. "very funny, jongin."

jongin huffs and tosses the envelope at him; baekhyun catches it gingerly with one hand. "it's got your name on it. i might be dead tired but i'm still lucid."

true enough, on the front, written in bold, black ink, are the _hangeul_ characters of his name. there is no stamp, no return address; just a plain, white envelope that hasn't even been sealed. if the simplistic style didn't give it away, the sender's penmanship definitely would've - a speedy but legible scrawl, tiny lettering.

kyungsoo.

baekhyun pulls back the flap of the envelope to reveal a postcard with an aerial view of nighttime paris, taken from what appears to be a glass observatory deck. on the back are the words:

_je suis à toi, pour toujours._

he knows this is french, but for the life of him, he can't even begin to figure out what it meant. baekhyun considers googling the phrase and seeing what turns up, but the last time he tried to google the name of a chinese song, yixing had told him the translation was way off. he settles with mulling over it for a while, turning the postcard this way and that, before he recalls that kris did, on one occasion, mention that he studied french in school.

a haggard-looking kris opens his door, towelling his damp hair, looking ready for bed. "baekhyun, it's like three in the morning. go to sleep," he groans.

"sorry," baekhyun apologises, but cuts right to the chase. "you learnt french while you were in canada, right?" when kris nods his affirmation, baekhyun lifts the back of the postcard up to his eye level. "what does this say?"

kris enunciates the words under his breath before a knowing smile crosses his face. "did kyungsoo send this to you?" when baekhyun refuses to answer, though, a pink flush spreading across his cheeks, kris only reaches out to pat him on the head.

"it says, 'yours forever'."

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted with accompanying graphics [here](http://sunlit.livejournal.com/8532.html)! no words can express how invaluable you were throughout the process of writing this, reeza; thank you so much for all your handholding and hugs and poking me with your pillow when i needed it! ;u; thank you also to celine for helping me with my non-existent french knowledge! much love ♥
> 
> (i apologise profusely because this was really just me trying my hand at location-based fic and admiring the many sights in paris ;~~~; kyungsoo and baekhyun did visit a lot more places than what was written here, though.)
> 
> # the title of the fic translates to 'you and no other'.  
> # incheon and charles de gaulle are the international airports for south korea and france, respectively.  
> # baekhyun has mentioned his fear of heights on an episode of beatles code 2.  
> # baekhyun's movie references, in order, are from titanic, the hunchback of notre dame and then titanic again. (shh, let's assume baekhyun's watched it enough. on snuggly movie dates, yes. :>)  
> # fun fact: people aren't allowed to throw the keys to their locks into the river, so kyungsoo keeps theirs.  
> # the observatory deck mentioned is the one on the 56th floor of montparnasse tower.  
> # a mix for this fic is available [here on 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/quaint/as-endless-as-forever)! ♥


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